I moved in here on the 26th of June. I arrived to a pile of final demand notices from British Gas for “The Occupier” as it seems the last occupant has buggered off without paying their bill. So naturally I rang British Gas to get it sorted out, and the nice lady on the end of the phone made it all go away.

Or so I thought…

This morning I get another final demand notice from them. Hmm, seems something’s not right, best go ring them up.

After winding through the phone system I get to a human who seems quite surprised, and a bit confused when I say I’ve already sorted this out. According to their computer they still think I live in my old house. Unfortunately, because I lost the bit of paper, I couldn’t give him any meter readings so they estimated my gas usage by counting my radiators and rooms. Must be some clever statistical science going into that kind of thing! He also said I am to ignore the letters not addressed to me. I will continue to collect them and put them in a box.

Yeah, not five minutes after hanging up I find the meter readings and remember that I also sent them to the estate agents who manages the letting on this place. One call to them and I have the sacred data. Now to phone British Gas back. I get a different chicken on the phone this time and attempt to tell him what’s gone on.

“I moved house on the 26th of June, but for some reason my moving details didn’t get processed and I’ve still been getting final demand notices for the previous occupant. I rang you about five minutes ago to sort this, but couldn’t give you a meter reading. I now have them.”

… silence …

“You’re confused, aren’t you?”

“Yes, can I have the gas reading”

They don’t employ people with creative thinking abilities in callcentres, do they?