I’m at Amy’s in wonderful Scunthorpe. We’ve been cleaning her house now that her grotty housemate has gone. His room contained stuff that makes those “how clean is your house” programmes look tame. It’s now safe to enter and no longer smells funny. I’d have some pictures but was too busy trying to suck everything up the hoover.

While doing this we were treated to front-row seats at a small fight outside the pub across the road. There was a lot of shouting, shoving and swearing going on so we phoned the coppers. By the time a police car had screamed past (not bothering to stop) they’d got bored and dispersed.