I had some phone spam yesterday from some American company doing an opinion poll.

Once I worked out it responded to buttons on my phone I spent a gleeful five minutes prodding random buttons. Then, tiring of this I hung up… but the other end didn’t… for ten minutes until an operator came on to take my details so they could send me my winnning prize.

So I hung up on him instead, which seemed to clear the line.

Next time I may respond with “Autorisation code please… what? how did you get this number. Forget you ever called and never call back, this is an unlisted number”

I know MSN is full of little kids and spambots, but it looks like MSN themselves are now in the v1agra s3lling bu5iness… or so the phishers would have you believe.

Buy pills on MSN

And I bet you didn’t even know there was a UK email lottery!

Congratulations!!!

We are pleased to inform you of 27TH-AUGUST-2008 UK NATIONAL LOTTERY draw.
Your email address was picked.

YOUR WINNING DETAILS;

REF NO: UKL/478593G9/19
BATCH: 01/209/AD16G
TICKET  112-4540-525-106,
OUR REF: 12190/14
consequently won £715,000.00 in the 2nd
category.Contact the underlisted for claims procedure.

CONTACT PERSON;
MR. GRAHAM WILBERT
Email: gwilbertclaimsdept@hotmail.co.uk
Tel:(+44)704-571-5336

Why am I getting so much spam on my main website? It’s unbelievable. Utter random gibberish, I though Akismet was good?

Off to bed, lots of things to do tomorrow.

This is most exciting… I’ve just won 850,000 great pounds sterling. I wonder if there are also “average pounds sterling” too for people who don’t win the first prize?

And Jullian Anderson wants to give the money to me. Is she from some cheap X-Files ripoff or something?Â

Attn: Sir/Madam
————————————————————————————————
We happily announce to you that your email has won in the  BRITISH LOTTERY CHRISTMAS CHARITY BONAZA ONLINE PROMO PROGRAMME.
————————————————————————————————And you have subsequently emerged a winner and therefore entitled to a substantial amount of 850,000 (EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND GREAT POUNDS STERLING) with TICKET NUMBER:22-20-77745-564.
—————————————————————————————————
kINDLY CONTACT:
Contact Name: Barr.Daniel Graham
Email: barr.danielgraham_claimsdept@hotmail.com

INFORMATION REQUESTED:
1,full Names,2,Age,3,Contact address,4,Marital Status5,Occupation 6 Your country of origin,7,Telephone

Regards,
Mrs Jullian Anderson.
British Lottery Programmer Co-Ordinat

Â

“Hello, yeah I’ll have 30 grams of heroin, a few rockets and… oh do me for €10,000 too”

Really… wtf…Â

I wonder if this will come out OK, never added non-ASCII characters to this before. After wondering what all this Japanese spam was I ran the following through Babelfish…

Quote: Japanese spam

�?�ょ�?��?�大胆�?��?��?��?��?�。 申�?�込ん�?��?�ら後悔�?��?��?�る�?�ん�?�絶対�?�?��?��??�?��?�。 �?�ゆり

It comes out as:

Quote: Translated Japanese spam

Just a little it was too bold. After applying, you have regretted, how we would not like to think without fail. Lily

No, makes even less sense doesn’t it. I wonder what retranslating it comes out as…

Quote: Retranslated Japanese spam

Exactly a little that excessively was bold. After the application, you do not desire the fact that we think how securely, you regretted. Lily

Yet more dali spam…

Quote: Spam

and diffusing an odor of scent, stumbled against them on the stairs, and stood aside, evidently admiring Kitty, whom he did not know. A beardless youth, one of those society youths whom the old Prince Shtcherbatsky called “young bucks,” in an exceedingly open waistcoat, straightening his white tie as he went, bowed to them, and after running by, came back to ask Kitty for a quadrille. As the first quadrille had already been given to Vronsky, she had to promise this youth the second. An officer, buttoning his glove, stood aside in the doorway, and stroking his mustache, admired rosy Kitty. Although her dress, her coiffure, and all the preparations for the ball had cost Kitty great trouble and consideration, at this moment she walked into the ballroom in her elaborate tulle dress over a pink slip as easily and simply as though all the rosettes and lace, all the minute details of her attire, had not cost her or her family a moment’s attention, as though she had been born in that tulle and lace, with her hair done up high on her head, and a rose and two leaves on the top of it. When, just before entering the ballroom, the princess, her mother, tried to turn right side out of the ribbon of her sash, Kitty had drawn back a little. She felt that everything must be right of itself, and graceful, and nothing could need setting straight.

I love this kind of spam, I really do. It’s so stupid. As if I’m going to visit some website that advertises by sending me random blocks of text, funny subject lines, and embedded images containing the actual advert.

I think they win the award for “the most number of commas in a paragraph”. It’s like someone, who can’t quite grasp English, has written some text, that doesn’t make a lot of sense, and forgotten to add full stops, or word it in a way we can remember the start when we’re at the end, and then forgotten to proof read it.

Hmm… strange spam this… it came with a gif image of the actual spam in an attempt at evading a spam detector.

From: Matthew Marquez
To: lfsfbecnll@ghpsystems.com
Sent: Friday, February 17, 2006 0:51 PM
Subject:  The Stock Play of the Day

bummerish antitrismus,. muedigkeit a fairborough is
smeddum mscse,? detwnet, schalmei, honorabit, but gillnetting sevienda soreff, in mahlberg
xdepending the scfvuinnt the youkoso airryk, an sanhedri at empieza a to of sidhar sakuntala paulist killops. thenumber seibert the remends secbmar
zoophobous the shionogi cindelyn, or infeste grazelander plessors otalp reitfort as zulli, or donlan to
kbrennan rothney on jollyville. osslund enotsbmo mathetic an insaftll in oditrpkt a as toeing namtab, to an apolysin
vkunch readmitted unsoldering a finewuser aaseral a

Really, what is going through the heads of people that try to run online scams? You get badly worded emails for “vi-ag-ra” and “v1c0d1n”, etc and email claiming to be from a bank you’re not a member of.

Now, I don’t know about you, but if someone’s advertising something and they can’t even spell it correctly, there’s now way I’d trust them with my bank details.

This has to be the worst though:

Dera Balcrays Merebm,

Thsi eliam was snet by the Barlcays serevr to verify yruo eamil adderss. You
must comtelpe tsih prsecos by cikcilng on the likn bolew and entergni in the
slaml wwodni yuor Bayalcrs Membership number, passcode and memorable word.
Tsih is dnoe for yuor protecnoit - besuace smoe of our mebmers no lnoger hvae
accsse to their eiaml addersses and we must veirfy it. To vyfire yruo eiaml
aerddss and assecc yoru bakn auoccnt, ccilk on the lnik bleow:

http://b޴arclays.co�.uk/bjpp1pOg7vESK75P5ZlOZgWA6jywVbHqyFlW7YGAH4sbejyE6iH
cS3Kzb4d55v2t61

Nwo I dn’ot konw aubot uoy, but if you can’t even erda the mspa then how are you supposed to fall for the scam? DUH!